A Prayer

As I approach on my plane trip to Texas for the Anglican 100, I reflect on this prayer and find comfort in it. Of course it looks as if there will be a snow storm moving in as I board the plane, which will go great with my nerves. But I have to say, prayer over the past month has kept me pretty peaceful about the journey. I'm looking forward to the three days.

Teach me, O Lord, not to hold on to life too tightly.
Teach me to hold it lightly; not carelessly, but lightly, easily. 
Teach me to take it as a gift, to enjoy and cherish while I have it, 
and to let it go gracefully and thankfully when the time comes. 
The gift is great, but the Giver is greater still. 
Thou, O God, art the Giver and in thee is the Life that never dies.

Aspirations

I spent a decade working on achieving what I am very near to achieving. At this time next year, I could very likely be a partner in a successful criminal defense law firm. I will have the financial security that I used to dream about as I walked to class at UNCG in the boiling heat, wondering what it would be like to be able to afford my own car. Wondering what it would be like to live in one of those beautiful brick homes that lined the street towards the college. I used to think...one day...

And now, here I am...and my priorities seem to be changing. I'm in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and none of that stuff seems to matter any more. It certainly doesn't seem like it should be a final destination.

I visited with a good friend from church tonight. This is a guy who has achieved a lot of worldly success at a young age. I plopped my son down on his couch to watch power rangers, and we migrated to the kitchen to chat about things. We watched a bit of Keller online, and discussed how to live an authentic Christian life. We talked about how worldly aims that used to have a lot of meaning, didn't inspire us anymore. We talked about money, and how to balance the worldly with the heavenly. We talked about Church planting. It was really great to be in fellowship with him. We both want to live a dramatic life for Christ...but how do you do that when you've got a young wife and child? How do you forsake your worldly success, when there are others to think about? Where do you draw the line? How much is enough?

I've been reading 'The New Testament in Modern English' translated by JB Phillips. It's similar to the  to 'The Message' by Peterson, but written decades earlier. It takes less liberties than the Message, but is just a really great and easy read. Anyway...I came across The Letter to Phillipi. Here's what I found:

"Every advantage I had gained, I considered loss for Christ's sake. Yes, and I look upon everything as loss compared with the overwhelming gain of knowing Christ Jesus my lord. For his sake I did in actual fact suffer the loss of everything, but I considered it useless rubbish compared with being able to win Christ. For now my place is in him, and I am not dependent on any of the self achieved righteousness of the law. God has given me that genuine righteousness which comes from faith in Christ. How changed are my ambitions! Now I long to know Christ and the power shown by his resurrection: no I long to share his suffering, even to die as he died, so that I may perhaps attain, as he did, the resurrection from the dead."

That is how I feel! That is what happens when one is smitten by the love of Christ. How changed are my ambitions indeed.

Spring is here?

I walked out of court today and the weather was almost warm for the first time in months. It made me harken back to the days as a child when I would play outside for hours and hours. There's something about childhood that makes it possible to be filled with Joy at the little things...so often. It seems harder to come by as an adult. I think kids live nearer to the intersection of Heaven and Earth because of their lack of worry. It's easier for them to be filled with God's joyfulness.

"Pan, who and what art thou?" he [Hook] cried huskily. -"I'm youth, I'm joy," Peter answered at a venture, "I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg."

Peter Pan is the image of youthful joy...but so often that Joy gets lost as we age? I wonder why that happens? It seems our ability to get lost in our imagination diminishes with time. Once that is lost, life becomes drudgery and toil...filled with worry.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NIV).

"Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. (Luke 18:15-17)

"Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:1-5)

Lord, I pray that over the next couple weeks, as I deal with my own personal challenge of boarding airplanes...not to mention all of the regular challenges that come with balancing work and family...Lord I pray that you continually harken me back to the days of my youth, when I felt your nearness everyday...and I reveled in the Joy of knowing you.

Much Love

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

What does it mean to be a Christian?

Our Church has just started an eight week sermon series in which we'll be looking at what it means to be a Christian. It's a good question.  Think about it. Are you a Christian? For those people that were born into the faith, grew up in a Christian family, or have gone to church off and on for years...the easy answer is 'yes'. Sure I am...everyone in my family is!

But I'm asking seriously...are you REALLY a Christian? 

In order to properly assess that question, one needs to understand what it means to be a Christian. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian. Many people idly day dream through most of the service. Being born into the faith doesn't make you a Christian any more than being born in Dunkin' Donuts would automatically classify you as a piece of pastry. 

Being newly alive in the faith, I have often pondered this question. How do I know that I'm on the right path?  Peter explains in Acts, that if you repent from your evil ways and get baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins - then you will be given the 'gift of the Holy Spirit.' Sounds great right? Sweet! What...do I get like magic powers or something? When does it begin? How will I know? (As I found out later...for me, this 'gift of the Holy Spirit' first showed up as a form of 'conviction'.)

The Apostle Paul says that "those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old is gone. A new life has begun!" (2 Cor 5:17) I think this is spot on. I've seen it happen in my own life. But for me, it wasn't an overnight process. Sure, I think there are some people out there that feel a lightning bolt moment and can point to a specific conversion date. But not me. I wasn't overcome with any instantaneous magical feelings or powers. I prayed that Jesus would forgive my transgressions, take charge of my life, and I thanked him for loving me enough to carry the burden of my inequities. If there were any initial feelings...it was one of relief. Relief at least that I had made a decision about SOMETHING in my life. There was a God, and I was submitting to his divine authority. Whew! But no lightning bolts.

Slowly I noticed that I began to have a distaste for my old ways. As time went on, I began to look back on my prior lifestyle and choices, and felt remorse for living in such a destructive manner. I realize now that I was slowly becoming 'convicted' by the Holy Spirit. The best and most well-known Scripture using this word is found in Jesus' teaching, John 16:7. "But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment."

'Conviction' is a powerful word. Sometimes I think of it as being absolutely convinced of something. Or to convince others of something...as when a jury decides that a defendant is guilty. The Bible word for 'convinced' is "elegcho" which is translated a variety of ways: confute, admonish, convict, convince, tell a fault, rebuke, reprove.American theologian Albert Barnes says that the word translated means commonly to demonstrate by argument, to prove, to persuade anyone to do a thing by presenting reasons. It hence means also to convince of anything, and particularly to convince of crime. This is its meaning in John 16:7. He will convince or convict the world of sin. That is, he will so apply the truths of God to men's own mindsas to convince them by fair and sufficient arguments that they are sinners, and cause them to feel this. This is the nature of conviction always."

And that's what slowly started to happen to me. The Holy Spirit began to convict me of my poor behavior. Which in turn became an everyday reminder of how much I needed Christ's intervention in my life. And the more I turned to Christ, the better my life became. I began to crawl under Christs blanket of Justification as much as possible. I found joy there that I had never experienced before. I began in earnest to pray, and make prayer a daily part of my life. I began to have a relationshipwith Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. It was through my relationship with Jesus that I began to feel more and more assured that I truly was a Christian. But I'm not sure this relationship would've been started had I not experienced the humbling nature of the Holy Spirit's conviction in my mind.

So how do you know you have a relationship with Jesus? Is this when the lightning bolts start happening? Is this when the magic powers start to kick in? Yes actually, it is! I say that because, I really believe that my relationship with Christ has allowed me to feel a bit of magic. I really feel that I have witnessed a little bit of Heaven whilst I've been here on Earth. I've been given the wonderful blessing of enjoying my life for what it is, and sensing God's presence in places I never knew he existed before.  I wish I had the verbal acumen to explain it better...but I can only say that I've experienced a quiet joy as opposed to a fleeting happiness. I am quiet when I used to be loud. I am patient when I used to be impulsive. I am forgiving when once I was resentful. I can give it over to my creator. I am slowly learning to entrust him with my life. What freedom! 

But feelings aren't what I hang my hat on. In order to develop my faith I need to practice it. I need to be able to explain what faith is beyond just telling people that..."Man, I know I'm a Christian, because Jesus makes me feel really good!" 

Here are some some ways I know that what I'm feeling is real. Ways in which I can rest assured that I am a Christian, and I can have confidence in my Faith:

1) The Word Of God

     A. "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Rev 3:20) I asked Jesus to come in, and he slowly began to convict me through the holy spirit. I began a process of change.

     B. "I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt 28:20)Every time I need his help, he is there to guide me. I feel his constant presence in prayer.

     C. "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish!" (John 10:28) I have sensed this eternal life, I have tasted it, in the glimpses of pure joy that I never felt before I invited Jesus in.

2)  The Work Of Jesus (He interrupted the fabric of time. He is an actual historical reality.)

      A. God loves us and died to prove it. (John 3:16) This is actually documented outside the Bible. See the above link to examine the sources.

      B. He took our sins upon himself. (Prophesied in Isaiah 53:6, See also 2 Cor. 5:21) Jesus removes the barrier of sin that would normally block my living, breathing, interaction with God.

      C. Christ's historical works (Crucifixion/Resurrection) provides for me the Gift of God. (Rom. 6:23) Eternal life in Christ Jesus, that can be experienced here on Earth...before we physically die. 

    

3) The Witness of The Spirit 

      A. When someone becomes a Christian, God's Holy Spirit comes to live inside them. (Rom 8:9) As mentioned above, I have felt the conviction of this reality.

      B. The Spirit transforms us from within. (Gal. 5:22, 23) I don't behave the way I used to, I enjoy learning about God & being with other Christians, I have a new concern for others...I feel Joy.

      C. The Spirit, especially during prayer, brings a deep personal conviction that I am God's child. (Rom. 8:15,16) This is what brings me to such Joy. The slow acceptance that I am worthy of being loved by the creator of the Universe. That truth that he loves me even more than I love my son, always moves me to tears. I am truly worth something in his eyes. He delights in me. That is breathtaking!!

I feel so blessed to be on this journey. I know I'm a Christian because I have a living, breathing relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm sure of it. He wants me to be sure of it. (1 John 5:13) Can you imagine being married, and when a stranger asks if so-and-so is your spouse... responding... 'Well, I think so...". That would be ridiculous. God wants us to be sure of our relationship with him. More than just intellectually secure in the matter. But sure - on a heart level. Loving him like you would a spouse...with a heart type of knowledge. 

It is through this kind of intimate relationship that we become truly secure in saying "Yes! I know I am a Christian!"

Corporate Prayer

My good friend, and Associate Rector of our Church, is moving to West  Los Angeles to plant a new Anglican Church. It is a mission of our church to send his family there, and I am proud to be a part of it. Tonight I met with about 25 other church members to pray for his family before sending them off. Powerful stuff. I love listening to other people pray. Our current Rector opened with a Bible Study of sorts, focusing on Luke 5.“Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.”

Fear was a big topic in the corporate setting tonight. We focused on being bold in the face of the enemy, and to answer the call courageously. The Spirit was palpable, and I was honored to play a small part in it. I hope that he and his wife were encouraged by the words spoken tonight. I know that on the few occasions when people have prayed aloud for me, I have been invigorated. I hope they were given a boost of energy and courage for the unknown that lay ahead for them.

Corporate prayer is important because it creates unity (John 17:22-23), and is a key aspect of believers’ encouraging one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11) and spurring one another on to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24). I think the strongest part of a family lies in the way they pray together. When my church comes together in that way, I feel so alive within the Body of Christ. It's really exciting to be a part of God's family.

I was also convicted a bit. I listened to the prayers for courage, and I know that I needed to go boldly on to the plane next week. I know Christ has called me for this mission to Texas, and he will not forsake me. I will not fear any path that Christ has walked before me, even to the death. I'm excited to be on the Christian path, and I've never before felt so fulfilled. My life is developing a purpose I never knew possible. It feels good to begin to grow towards the image that God had planned for you all along.

With that thought, a good night.

Prayer

I've been working on a system of prayer lately that will help me get into a routine of conversing with God. Prayer should be sacred, it should be entered into with a sense of piety. I read somewhere that the ancient Pharisees would spend two hours preparing for prayer. Think about it, if you were going before the Queen of England, wouldn't you spend some time getting prepared? How much greater is the creator of the universe than ole' Elizabeth? Hybels wrote a great book on prayer, and a lot of this post comes from that source.

But I've also stolen from a variety of different sources. People have been praying since time immemorial, so why reinvent the wheel? For me, prayer life is a work in progress and usually happens before bedtime.

1.       RECOGNIZE THE PRESENCE OF GOD. A gesture, lighting a candle or a moment of silence in front of the place where we will do the examination might express this. Christ made the ultimate sacrifice, and as a result we've been given the gift of the Holy Spirit and a one way connection with the Almighty. This is awesome stuff, and a bit of reverence to kick off the occasion is appropriate. Before beginning, it's good to think about these questions. Are my relationships right with others (Matt. 5:24-25)? Are my motives pure (James 4:3)? Am I seeking to glorify and please God above all else (John 14:13-14)? Am I depending on the Holy Spirit's guidance? Am I ready to praise God however he chooses to answer my requests? (Rom. 8:28; 1 Thess. 5:16-18)

Now it's time to get to work.

2.        ADORE AND WORSHIP GOD- Rev. 5:8-14

• God's person (who He is) - Isa. 6:3
• God's Works (what He has done) - Ps. 103

It's a good idea to begin prayer by getting our heart, soul, mind, and strength fully focused on our GREAT BIG GOD; our problems will soon look NOT very big in comparison.  This is the Adoration stage and it invokes Jesus' command to "take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?  (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek :) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Mat 6:31-33)  The kingdom Jesus refers to here, is our heart's surrender to Him as King, ie., acknowledging Jesus as our Lord, Savior, our Good Shepherd (John 10:11, Ps 23:1), our faithful High Priest who continuously intercedes for us in heaven (Hbr 4:14-16, Rom 8:34), acknowledging His Father as our heavenly Father, "my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in Whom I will trust" (Ps 18:2), etc.  In other words, acknowledge God for EVERYTHING He is to us, and focus my thoughts on Him alone.  By temporarily pushing my specific requests out of mind, and first focusing on God Himself, and my relationship to Him, I am comforted by His Holy Spirit, convinced us that He hears me, and that He is able and willing, to deal with the requests I am bringingg before Him-Mat 6:8.  Beginning prayer with Praise and Adoration is a powerful way to get focused on God.  A few minutes of quiet meditation in God's Word beforehand, will help tremendously, at this initial stage of Prayer.

3.       CONFESSION - REVIEW OF THE DAY- 1 John 1:9

• Personal sins (in deed, thought, or word) - Ps. 32:5
• Family sins - Lev. 26:40
• Church body sins - Dan. 9:3-19
• National sins - Jonah 3:5-1

With the help of the Holy Spirit I go through the "anamnesis" of the day. Next element is the Confession stage, where I purposely seek the Holy Spirit's conviction of sin, so that I might ask God for forgiveness, and trust Him to cleanse me by the blood of Christ (1Jhn 1:9); I do this so that my prayers will not be hindered by sin.  "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear [me]." (Ps 66:18) See also Ps 139:23-24, Mat 6:12, 2 Chr 7:14, Ps 51:17.

4.       THANKSGIVING AND RECONCILIATION- Ps. 50:23, 103

• For trials - James 1:2-4
• For blessings - 1 Chron. 16:7-36
• For everything - 1 Thess. 5:18

In the review of the day necessarily I will see also my shortcomings and this moment gives occasion to reconcile and to ask forgiveness in a simple way. This is very important step for my relationship with God. I begin to feel strengthened in my relationship through everyday forgiveness and acceptance. I am fallen and I can't do it without His help. Knowing that I've acknowledged my weakness and further affirming that He delights in my fills my heart with Joy. The rule "never go to sleep without reconciliation" applies to our sins against God. I remember in the story of the Prodigal Son, when the father rushes out to meet his lost son on the road, his son says...'Father I have sinned against God and against you." God comes first, and it is only right to reconcile your sins with God before trying to make things right with anyone else. God is so wonderful, He is worthy of our praise and thankfulness. 

5.      SUPPLICATION (To Plead Humbly - for your needs and those of others.) Matt. 7:7-11

• For my family - Matt. 6:11
• For my local church - Col. 1:9-12
• For the church worldwide - Eph. 6:18-19
• For individual Christians - Acts 12:5
• For individual non-Christians - Matt. 5:44
• For my nation - 1 Tim. 2:1-2
• For myself - James 1:5

Pray specifically (Avoid "God bless so and so.” Get to know people in Christ’s body!) Pray expectfully (Matthew 7:7-11). Pray submissively (God ultimately knows best - Matthew 26:39). Often times, I remember saying that I'd pray for someone, but then will have completely forgotten the next time I see them. It's a good idea to keep a list, or even one of those prayer apps to help us remember other's needs. I certainly don't need a list for my own needs, they always seem to jump out to the forefront. In fact, if it were up to me, I'd begin my prayer with a list of things I needed. I find it appropriate that I don't get to 'what I want' until towards the end of my prayer. By that time, I often realize that I don't need for much.

Examples of Supplication from the Bible can be found in:

• Luke 1:13; 2:37; 5:33 2 Cor. 1:11; 9:14
• Eph. 1:16-19 Phil. 1:4-6, 9-11, 19
• Col. 1:9-11 Heb. 5:7
• James 5:15-16 1 Pet. 3:12

6.       RESOLUTION. This point regards the future, to make a resolution about going on trusting God, loving and searching what is good. Again, it's OK to be specific about how you are going to resolve to do better tomorrow. Words are powerful, and hearing yourself commit to a change in behavior is an effective tool. Many professionals, from athletes to businessmen make a list of goals to help them achieve their aspirations. There have been a variety of studies comparing students that wrote down where they wanted to be in 10 years against those students that didn't. The results were staggering. There's no need to make oaths to God, but letting him know specifically what you are resolving to do better increases your chances of being transformed to His will.

Much Love.

Relaxing

God knew what he was doing when he put aside a day of rest. I do my best to separate my work from my free time with family and friends. Tonight we had an oyster and chili roast at a friends home. It was another gathering of our 20's and 30's group we call The Well. Really great stuff. I guess every state has it's own traditions. In Maryland, we would have had a crab picking barbecue type of thing. Down here, the inclination was to keep the NCAA basketball on despite the NFL playoffs, and to start roasting and shucking some oysters. I was all aout trying something new, and I slurped down an oyster. Then I heard someone talk about how eating raw oysters can give you Hep B. Then someone else said, yea...Iknow a girl wih Hep B, she's had three liver transplants. To top it off, someone next to me found a small dead crab inside his oyster. He popped it in his mouth and said...'Hmmm, a little crunchy...'

That was it for me. One was enough.

But on the Christian front, I never knew that people gathered and had fun this way. All church folk. Christ followers. Did this kind of thing exist in Baltimore? If it did I certainly wasn't aware of it. Then again, I definitely wasn't seeking either. There were people at the party that had only lived in town for 6 months, and had found our gathering online...through FB...etc.Because it was a priority for them to surround themselves with fellow God seekers. I hope I can raise my son to be that kind of person. I was ignorant to it when I was in my 20's.

I don't have anything profound to blog about tonight. Suffice to say that I am feeling very blessed in all phases of life. I've got a healthy loving family, and I'm developing some strong friendships in Raleigh. Things are good. I'm very thankful.

I think about going to seminary a lot. One of the main hesitations I have is putting my family through a period of flux, when we're so close to long term financial stability. We've all sacrificed and worked hard to arrive at this place, and I feel I owe it to them to give a bit of stability. But man, I've been in a love affair with my faith the past three years. I hunger to learn more.

We'll see how things go at the Anglican 1000 in a week. Like JY3 said the other week, maybe I'll find that hanging out with a bunch of priests isn't really my thing. But I think it's going to be awesome.

Much love.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Rosehaven

Replacing Bad Habits With Christ

I am on the leadership team for a group called The Well. It is a ministry through our church that focus's on people in their 20's and 30's. Last term we studied Tim Keller's Counterfeit Gods. It was a solid book, (though I think A Reason For God is still his standout), and below I've included an excerpt that I think encapsulates the book pretty well. I have found during my period of discernment that if Christ takes up my free time, then I really don't have opportunity to sin like I used to. On my own, if I have a choice to go back to old habits, will power isn't enough to prevent the slide in that direction. But a focus on Christ keeps me off the track towards a mistake. 

My wife and I avoid what we call 'step one' when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. If 'step two' is classified as some sort of cheating or infidelity, then a good way to avoid step two is never getting to step one. For example, exchanging email addresses or cell phone numbers with someone you know is interested in you could be step one. Going out on a business lunch that you know is more than just business could be step one. How do you avoid step one situations from even arising? Fill that time with your family. I don't go to happy hour after work with young hottie attorneys anymore. Why not? Because I'm replacing that behavour with something much more productive. Time with my son and wife. There is no possible way I'm even running into a step one opportunity when I'm with my family.

Same thing with Christianity. I am much less tempted by worldly seductions, when my free time is spent contemplating my reward in heaven. The opportunity for step one to open the door to a mistake is not going to happen when I'm in the midst of prayer. In Paul's letter to the Colossians he exhorted them to 'put to death' the evil desires of the heart, including 'greed, which is idolatry'. 

But How? Paul laid out the way:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

Keller writes:

Idolatry is not just a failure to obey God, it is a setting of the whole heart on something besides God. Thiscannot be remedied only by repenting that you have an idol, or using willpower to try to live differently. 'Setting the mind and heart on things above' where 'your life is hid with Christ in God' means appreciation, rejoicing, and resting in what Jesus has done for you. It entails joyful worship, a sense of God's reality in prayer. Jesus must become more beautiful to your imagination, more attractive to your heart, than your idol. If you uproot the idol with sheer force of will, but fail to 'plant' the love of Christ in its place, the idol will grow back.

Rejoicing and repentance must go together. Repentance without rejoicing will lead to despair. Rejoicing without repentance is shallow and will only provide passing inspiration instead of real change.

Indeed, it is when we rejoice over Jesus's sacrificial love for us most fully that, paradoxically, we are most truly convicted of our sin. When we repent out of fear of consequences, we are not really sorry for the sin, but for ourselves. Fear based repentance (behaving to avoid hellfire) is really self pity. In fear based repentance, we don't learn to hate the sin for itself, and it doesn't lose it's attractive pull. We learn only to refrain from it for our own sake. But when we rejoice over God's sacrificial, suffering love for us-seeing what it cost him to save us from sin-we learn to hate the sin for what it is. We see what the sin cost God.

In essence, what most assures us of God's unconditional love (Jesus's costly death) is what most convicts us of the evil of sin. Fear based repentance makes us hate ourselves. Because that kind of repentance never offers real, heart change. Joy-based repentance makes us hate the sin, and love ourselves- in Christ.

Much Love. Jess

Ordinary Time

OK, so going back a bit to the church calender theme. Ordinary time. What is it?

In the Catholic and Anglican Church, it is the period of time following Epiphany and then following Pentecost. (Pentecost closes out Easter, and in Acts is the moment when Christ ascended and the Holy Spirit descended to provide counsel and power to the Church.)

The ordinary time following Epiphany is somewhat short. Sometimes just a matter of weeks or less. In the Anglican liturgical calender, it starts after the Candlemas celebration. (Candlemas closes our the 40 days of Epiphany.) For Catholics, it starts after the celebration of Christ's Baptism. (Which happens on Sunday a couple weeks after Christmas)

The longer period of Ordinary Time follows Pentecost and goes all the way to Advent, (which builds up towards Christmas.) The English name is intended to translate the Latin term Tempus per annum (literally "time through the year"). This longer stretch of ordinary time has been referred to by some as the spiritual desert of summer.  Bible study groups often form during Ordinary Time to keep their faith at the forefront when nothing big is happening in the church calender. 

I also wanted to write a bit on this post about Christian Feasts. But I think that I underestimated the complexity of that task. Many of the feasts originate with the original Jewish celebrations, but take on a different meaning emphasizing the Messiah. Some feast dates were changed to help incorporate pagans into the Christian traditions. Other feasts weren't even practiced until hundreds of years after Christ. (Like Epiphany for example.)

The first reference to Epiphany in the Latin West is a slighting remark by Clement of Alexandria in Stromateis, I, xxi, 45: "There are those, too, who over-curiously assign to the Birth of Our Saviour not only its year but its day…" Origen's list of festivals (in Contra Celsus, VIII, xxii) omits any reference to Epiphany. The first reference to an ecclesiastical feast of the Epiphany, in Ammianus Marcellinus (XXI:ii), is in 361AD.

OK...enough history for tonight. I think I've got the gist of the Church Calender down, at least in outline format in my mind. 

Tired again tonight. 

My days are full and long. What happened to the time in my life when I was so boooooored? Now that I'm interested in things, there isn't enough space to squeeze it all in. How is it that I used to spend hours at a time in pubs for happy hour? What empty, meaningless fun. I was dead in my transgressions. Zombie-like, going through the motions. It feels good to be alive, but I'm hearing the ticking of the clock for the first time too. I feel like there's so much to do...so much to catch up on.

Until tomorrow.

Christian Brothers

Went out with 3 friends from Church tonight for dinner. It was pretty awesome. I spent way too much money, the Spanish owner was way too intrusive, but time with the fellas was well spent. It was authentic.

The four of us are in leadership positions of one sort or another at church and the topic was living an authentic life for Christ while dealing with everything else. There was some heated debate. It's great to have brothers who will call you out when you're being judgmental and cheer you on when you're doing it right.

I'm learning to look past peoples personalities and to focus more on their heart and motives. I used to be very judgmental. If I didn't like someone...that was it for them. If they rubbed me the wrong way, they were dead to me. Who needed to waste time with someone who didn't make a very good first impression? Pretty callous and superficial. Now I'm trying hard to get past peoples personality quirks, (because I'm perfect right?), and focus more on their heart. There are a lot of annoying, well intentioned people out there. Ha! But when you focus on their heart, their outward issues become less obvious.

Work was very challenging today. Christ showed up big time and in a big way. The more faith you have, the more miracles he performs. God loves when you go out on a limb with your faith. He rewards it. In the Bible, it seems that Jesus is most happy when people believe he can come through, (Matt 9:22, 9:29, 15:28, 21:21) and most distressed when they feel he can't. (John 11:40)

Well, this post is brief and light in theology, but I'm tired. Very blessed, but tired. Much love. Jess

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Rosehaven

More on Epiphany

Ok, so I did a little bit more reading up on Epiphany.

It lasts for 40 days after the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Different churches commemorate the ending differently and on different days. In Western tradition, the last day is highlighted by a 'Candlemas' celebration focusing on Luke 2:2 where Jesus is presented at the temple.

Within the Roman Catholic Church, since the liturgical reforms of the Second Vatican Council, this feast has been referred to as the Feast of Presentation of the Lord, with references to candles and the purification of Mary de-emphasised in favor of the Prophecy of Simeon the Righteous. Pope John Paul II connected the feast day with the renewal of religious vows.

In Eastern tradition the 40th day is celebrated with an All-Night Vigil on the eve of the feast, and a celebration of the Divine Liturgy the next morning, at which beeswax candles are blessed. This blessing traditionally takes place after the Little Hours and before the beginning of the Divine Liturgy (though in some places it is done after). The priest reads four prayers, and then a fifth one during which all present bow their heads before God. He then censes the candles and blesses them with holy water. The candles are then distributed to the people and the Liturgy begins. On the same day, Orthodox Christians also commemorate a wonder-working icon of the Theotokos known as "the Softening of Evil Hearts" or "Simeon's Prophecy." It depicts the Virgin Mary with her hands upraised in prayer, and seven swords piercing her heart. This is one of the few Orthodox icons of the Theotokos which do not depict the infant Jesus.

I think all of that stuff is really interesting, and I write it partly so I can remember it. Not all churches celebrate Christmas on the same day, and some churches highlight different parts of Jesus' formative years during the celebration. Because 40 days after Christmas could land on a different day every year according to the Gregorian Calender, this is one of the 'moveable feasts'. I also read that in some traditions, Christmas decorations are not taken down until the end of the Epiphany season. Is apparently, was an unknown rule that our family had been operating under for some time.

Much Love. Jess




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Location:Starbucks

Epiphany

During the sermon on Sunday, JY3 mentioned that this was Epiphany week. I remember thinking, awesome...what's Epiphany week? Which brings me back to something I often think about. 1) I need to get better versed in global geography. 2) I need to get a better understand of how our national government runs, and 3) I need to learn about the Church Calendar, and whether any of it matters any more.

For example...what is ordinary time? Yea, I don't know either. But I'm going to figure it out and blog about it tomorrow night.

I know that advent is the time of expectant waiting leading up to the birth of Jesus. Lent is the time leading up to Easter. I even recently got a grip on the whole Ash Wednesday/Maundy Thursday thing. But I feel like the church needs to do a better job explaining these things. Maybe I wasn't raised right, or I slept through confirmation...but I don't remember anyone ever telling me what Epiphany Week was growing up.

And then I look it up on Wiki, and it goes back to the 4th century and is the 3rd most important feast in the Eastern Orthodox faiths, behind Easter and Pentecost. That's kind of a big deal! (And what's up with the whole feast thing? I think it's a carry over from the old testament days, but maybe I'll save the feast post for Wednesday.)

Here's what I found out about Epiphany:

The observance had its origins in the Eastern Christian Churches and was a general celebration of the Incarnation of Jesus Christ. It included the commemoration of his birth; the visit of the Magi ("Wise Men", as Magi were Persian priests) to Bethlehem; all of Jesus's childhood events, up to and including his baptism in the Jordan by John the Baptist; and even the miracle at the Wedding of Cana in Galilee. It seems fairly clear that the Baptism was the primary event being commemorated. (Christ's birth is only found in two of the gospels, but his Baptism by John is covered in all four.)

Epiphany is celebrated by both the Eastern and Western Churches, but a major difference between them is precisely which events the feast commemorates. For Western Christians, the feast primarily commemorates the coming of the Magi; Eastern churches celebrate the Baptism of Christ in the Jordan. In both traditions, the essence of the feast is the same: the manifestation of Christ to the world (whether as an infant or in the Jordan), and the Mystery of the Incarnation.

Even before the year 354, the Western Church had separated the celebration of the Nativity of Christ as the feast of Christmas and set its date as December 25; it reserved January 6 as a commemoration of the manifestation of Christ, especially to the Magi, but also at his baptism and at the wedding feast of Cana.

Prior to 1976, the Anglican churches also observed an eight-day feast. Today the Epiphany is classified as a Principal Feast and is observed on January 6 or on the Sunday between January 2 and 8. There is also an Epiphany season, observed between the season of Christmas and the first period of Ordinary Time. It begins at Evening Prayer on the Eve of the Epiphany, and ends at Evening Prayer (or Night Prayer) on the Feast of the Presentation (which may be celebrated on February 2 or on the Sunday between January 28 and February 3).

I wonder why the Church stopped observing an eight day feast? Id like to make these kind of things more a part of my faith. I want to live out my faith, and not knowing anything about this kind of stuff can be frustrating. But also kind of exciting too. I'm going to learn more and make the Church calendar a focus of my posts this week.

Much love all. Jess

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Rosehaven

Singing In Church

My favorite day of the week is Sunday. There's nothing better than getting spiritually recharged to deal with the upcoming work week. I'm not kidding, sometimes by the time Friday night hits, I feel like I need a Holy Spirit shower. My especially favorite Sundays are the one's in which my quartet group gets to sing. I thought I'd share a little bit.

I'm afraid it's a short post post today. I'm very tired, and I have yet to pray. I'm feeling God in my life more and more every day. I feel connected to Him more than I have in many years. My family is healthy, and I am very blessed.

In the news this week were the reports of Coptic Christians in the Middle East being persecuted, and a Congresswoman from Arizona being gunned down. The world is fallen, and people are desperate. There is a lot to pray for tonight. Much Love.

The Good News

Ok, so I had a thought today in the car as I was driving home from work. It hit me that most of my clients have a hard time taking complete responsibility for their actions. Sure, they'll take partial responsibility and be very sure to point out that they are owning up, but it's rarely complete responsibility.

And I think we're all like that to a certain degree. It started with Adam and Eve. Why'd you eat the apple? 'The woman you gave me told me to.' Why'd you eat the apple? 'The serpent told me to.'

It's clearly been going on for a long time. It's part of our make up. When we find ourselves in a jam, we often will blame the circumstances instead of ourselves. I often hear at work, 'I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.' Right. Well, who put you there? Had you turned right instead of left, you wouldn't have pulled out in front of the cop and been charged with dwi. So it's left's fault?

Where am I going with all this? Well, later in the day I realized that from time to time I forget exactly what the good news of Jesus means. I actually find myself thinking...what's so great about Christianity again? And I find myself trying to find a way to formulate it into a clear concise message. And it's not easy. But it should be. And then I realized what I was struggling with.

My culture.

The same reason my clients have a hard time accepting fault and the impending punishment, is the same reason I forget how special a gift Christ has given me. In my culture, it is hard for me to take responsibility for what a miserable sinner I am. I have been brought up to imagine God as a loving father who's always rooting for me despite my failures.

But that isn't the God of my Bible. The God of scripture hates sin, and in fact...he hates the person who chooses to live a life of sin. (Psalm 5:5) He is a God of justice who doles out punishment and love. I don't like to think about God being angry with me, much less hating my choices and lifestyle. I don't like to completely own my brokenness in the face of God's perfection. I don't like to consider the times I choose to turn my back on him and purposefully sin. I would prefer to be blind to the harsh reality of justice.

God is holy above all: 1 Sam 2:2

He is righteous: Duet 32:4

Just in his wrath Rom 3:5,6

God's eyes are too pure to look upon evil, He can't tolerate wrong: Hab 1:13

The arrogant can't stand in His presence, He hates all who do wrong: Ps 5:5

Whoever rejects the Son will not see life, but feel God's wrath: John 3:36

Genesis 8:21 indicates that our heart holds the propensity for evil from the time we are born. Eph 4:18 says our understanding is darkened and our hearts are like stone. 2 Cor 4:4 says we can't even see Christ most of the time because of our spiritual blindness.

Is it any wonder that we would prefer to be blind to the reality of our flaws and our impending punishment? My job is interesting because I get to view a little piece of my spiritual brokenness, every time I have a client come in and explain to me why they don't really deserve their impending judgment. They provide me with a glimpse into my own soul, a microcosm for my misunderstanding as to why I need to be saved. No one wants to really fess up to their mistakes.

And that is exactly why I forget the good news of Christ. What exactly is the message? What exactly did he do for me? Well, in order to get the message, one has to understand the depth of the bind that they find themselves in. The spiritually blind have no idea that they are in some seriously eternal jeopardy. They have no idea what's at stake. So if there's nothing to take responsibility for, then there's no need for a savior. In fact, even when you've been saved, sometimes you can forget what a blessing it was to be pulled out of the mire. Because you can't imagine how close to the precipice you'd been standing. or maybe you deny the kind of punishment your crimes against God deserve.

Today's culture does us no favors as we come to terms with our faith. And it's certainly no help in our efforts to evangelize. With modernity comes amazing distractions and the false belief that we can get by without help. Everything is made so immediate and easy, we can get carried away by playing God in our own world. There's no real need to take responsibility because mistakes can be so easily corrected.

Camping is a cure all for me, because it reminds me of how alone, and helpless, and fragile I really am. Shivering at night, blanketed by the vast cosmos, hungry and fumbling to get a fire going...those are times I find myself understanding why people relied on God to get through their everyday. Normally I can be online for 8 hours in the warm confines of my living room, and I have no need to acknowledge my brokenness. The spiritual blinders become a bit narrower and more distracting. Who needs good news when I have immediate gratification with the swipe of a mouse?

Well...sorry this was quite a ramble. Just some thoughts as I work out my faith. The good news? Christ took my place, justice was served on the cross, and Love won out. I'm cloaked in love, and that love was draped over my shoulders by Gods son who was sent down to save me. But I will never understand how valuable that act was, unless I realize the danger I've put myself in by repeatedly turning away from God's Love. 

Good night all.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Rosehaven

Don't Trust The Holy Bible?

Don't Trust The Bible? Check out these Books!

In 2007 at the beginning of my conversion, I decided that I would find highly reliable, the accounts of Jesus Christ as written by purely secular sources. I began reading up on Jesus and whether I could believe a lot of the Christian claims from an 'historical perspective'. What began to blow my mind was that...even when I completely ignored Christian scripture and the writings of the early church fathers, the ancient secular historians and authors still painted a picture of Jesus as God. 

Of course, the early Church Fathers wrote about Christ all the time...so much in fact, that if all the Christian Bibles disappeared from the face of the planet we could completely reconstruct the good book from their quotes alone. Origen for example quoted it in his letters and writings over 17,992 times. But my mission in '07 consisted of ignoring the writings of the early fathers to avoid any kind of idealogical bias or motive. I was more interested in what the enemies and the uninterested Roman historians said about Jesus.

Here's what I found:

Tacitus:

First Century Roman Historian: Wrote of the 'Christus' execution at the hands of the Roman Procurator Pontius Pilate. And a 'mischevius superstition' that broke out after his death. (See Tacitus. Annals. Can be found in: Great Books of the Western World Vol.15 - Hutchins or The Annals and the Histories. Tacitus. 1952) 

Suetonius:

Chief Secretary to Emporer Hadrian: Confirms Acts 18:2 (The Twelve Ceasers. Trans. Robert Graves. Revised by Michael Grant 1979)

Josephus:

Jewish Historian working under Roman Authority. Wrote between 70-90 AD. Makes statements that verify, either generally or in great detail the historical nature of the old and new testaments. (So you don't have to flip through his massive volumes, I'd highly reccomend: F.F. Bruce'sThe New Testament Documents: Are They Reliable?

Thallus: 

Wrote around 52 AD. Don't know a lot aout this guy...except that he is quoted by a lot of early writers. Julius Africanus is one of them that quoted his writings in 221 AD. Thallus wrote of a darkness that descended after the crucifiction: "On the whole of the world there was pressed a most fearful darkness, and the rocks were rent by an earthquake, and many places in Judea and other districts were thrown down." (See Julius Africanus, Chronology.) Good luck finding that one...I have it cited in Evidence for Christianity pg 86 by Josh McDowell.

Pliny the Younger: 

Roman author and administrator. In a letter to Emperor Trajan AD 112, describes the worship practices of Christians. Establishes that Christ was, at this early date, worshiped as God. Description portrays a very similar one to todays' worship. (Find in Pliny The Elder. Natural History. Rackham & Jones. 1951 OR Pliny The Younger. Letters. which is quoted in Norman Geisler's Baker's Encyclopedia of Christian Apologetics. 1998) 

Emperor Trajan: In a reply to Pliny's letter, discusses how to deal with the Christians. (See above for references.)

Jewish Talmud: 

Compiled between 70 and 200 AD during the so called 'Tannaitic Period'. Refers to the Rabbi Yeshu as being hanged, for practicing sorcery and enticing Israel to Apostasy. Says he was Hanged on the eve of Passover. Of course, this confirms the date, and that the Jews of that time acknowledged that Jesus performed Miracles. Which the N.T. also states. (The most significant bit is found in the Sanhedrin 43a of theBabylonian Talmud)

Lucian of Samosata:

A 2nd century Greek writer whose works contained sarcastic critiques of Christianity, but confirmed many N.T. claims in doing so. (see The Works of Lucian of Samosata. Fowler & Fowler. 1949. Found inside that book in Lucians' "Death of Pelegrine". OR for an easier find...see Gary Habermas' "The Historical Jesus: Ancient Evidence for the life of Christ. pg. 206-7.1996)

Mara Bar-Serapion:

A Syrian, in a letter to his son compares the Greek killing of Socrates to the Jewish Killing of Christ, and that Christ lives on in his teaching...(You'd have to go to the British Museum and read this in Syriac...or you can check it out in Habermas' Hist. of Jesus...pg.200)

Valetinas:

"The Gospel of Truth" is a book written midway through the 1st century. Perhaps by a Gnostic named Valetinas. "Jesus was patient in accepting sufferings since he knows that his death is life for many..." (See A New Quest for the Historical Jesus by James M. Robinson 1959)

The Acts of Pontius Pilate:

This is a famous history book that has been lost. However it is referred to by Justin Martyr in AD 150 and Tertullian in AD 200.  Martyr says that it describes the miracles of Jesus, the piercing of the hands and feet, the casting of lots for the clothing...which were prophecied in the O.T. of course. (See Justin Martyr. Apology. found in Ante-Nicene Fathers by Alexander Roberts and James Donaldson. Pages 35 & 48 should be helpful.)

In essence, these non religious/secular writings demonstrated that:


1) Jesus was from Nazareth.
2) He lived a wise and virtuous life.
3) Crucified under Pilate at Passover, a 'Jewish King'.
4) Disciples believed he was raised from the dead.
5) Enemies acknowledged his sorcery. (Miracles...)
6) Small band of disciples multiplied rapidly.
7) From the beginning, his disciples denied Polytheism, and worshiped Christ as Divine.


That's really exciting. Because it indicates that I believe what the early Christians believed. My worship service is similar to that of the first believers. I believe Christ was divine, and so did they.

For me, the next logical step lie in questioning and testing the veracity of holy scripture. It really didn't take long to uncover the fact that the Bible is by far the most historically accurate manuscript to come out of the ancient world. Twenty five thousand hand written copies in a bunch of languages compared to 650 for the second most accurate...'Homer's Iliad'. (No one ever questions who wrote the Iliad...even though the first full handwritten copy was penned 600 years after Homer first set the story to parchment in 800 B.C.) To keep this post relatively manageable, it will have to suffice to say that I began to feel very reassured that an amazing case could be made for the reliability of the Bible. And HAD been made time and time again by men much more brilliant than I'd ever be. Ever since, I have done my best to develop an open heart towards Christ...and I daily ask that he becomes more and more a part of my identity.

A lawyer once asked Jesus 'Whats the most important commandment?' Jesus said 'Love the Lord your God with all your Heart, Soul, and Mind." We are supposed to use our Minds. As a new Christian, I feel it's important to arm myself with the knowledge to defend my faith. Be vigilant. Christ is the way and the truth. There is  no question that can't be answered through him. 

Much love!