Monday, February 7, 2011

Back From Practice

I'm starting to really enjoy Monday nights. We're gearing up for a transition to some more contemporary types of music in Church. So we've formed a little group, and it's starting to come together pretty well. I'm singing, and we also have a high school girl who can blow the roof off the place. She's excellent. It's fun to sing with her because she's always on pitch. Three other high schoolers on guitar, bass, and drums. Our two adult music leaders rock out the piano really well.

What we're working on is called praise music I guess. I'm not really sure, since I wasn't really into church and church music growing up. I remember there was this Catholic girl that lived on my street as a kid who was really into modern Christian music. Even at the time, I thought it was wacky that you could be entering your teenage years and not rebelling at all. Listening to exactly what your parents would love for you to listen to. That to me was odd. But I guess she knew Jesus before I did. Now I don't think listening to praise and worship music is odd at all. Of course, I'm 37 years old.

Work is going well. I'm really, really busy. In my opinion we're understaffed for the amount of cases we're handling. But to make that gripe too often starts to sound like you can't handle it. So I'm waiting to see what happens. The lid has to blow off somewhere. I'll rejoice when they hire a third attorney. That's all I'm saying.

I've been doing what I can to make a positive impact on my clients. I had a case today that made me a bit sad, and in turn demonstrated that I've grown up a bit. Back in the day as a young attorney at the PD's office in Baltimore,...the fellas and I used to clamor to represent the good looking young female criminals. The party girl that was on her third DWI, the prostitute who just got started and wasn't ragged out yet by drugs...etc. We'd check out a mug shot, grab the file and say..."I got this one!" Jeez, even writing it now sounds kind of tasteless, but I think part of it was trying to stay sane in an environment that was sensory overload with sadness.

Well today, I represented a girl all of 21 who was has been charged with prostitution. She is a great looking girl and pretty smart. And probably has a really acute, although pretty well hidden case of bipolar disorder. Of course I don't know that for sure...but her decision making is off at the very least. I ended up positioning her case for a dismissal, but as I left the courthouse and walked to my car...all I felt for her was sadness. She was a vortex of despair. She had that thing where she's not really focusing on what your'e saying, but instead thinking about where she's going to get her next fix. I mean, she's engaging, but she's also distracted. As I drove away I saw her talking to some old guy outside the courthouse. I felt like making a u-turn, rolling down my window and shouting 'Go Home!' I almost did.

It was just sad. And so I was wondering how I could have better handled the situation from a Christian perspective. She needs to know she's valued and loved unconditionally. Somewhere along the line she lost her belief in that. It's tough, because she hasn't hired me to bring her the gospel, she's hired me to get her case dismissed. And I'm really good at what she's hired me for, and not so good quite yet at bringing up the good news. Anyway...that was a bit of a rabbit hole I wasn't intending on going down with this post. I think the point is, as you grow up and get a bit more mature...the gravity of these situations hits home in a more profound way. I saw her not so much from a worldly perspective, but more as a lost soul who has no hope. That was a hard thing to stare at.

Well, that was a bit depressing. I'll give it to prayer tonight. There's a lot of street people out there with mental health conditions. I'm going to make that a focus of my prayer tonight. It will be good especially because my little family has been blessed enough to look at buying a new home over the past couple of weeks. Only by the grace of God have I been given the opportunity to be doing that. I'm thankful.

OK...good night.