Discipleship

Luke 5

Jesus Calls His First Disciples

 ¹ One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. ²He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. ³ He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

 ⁴ When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

 ⁵ Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

 ⁶ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. ⁷ So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

 ⁸ When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” ⁹ For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, ¹⁰ and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

   Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” ¹¹ So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

Out rector JY3 is doing a fantastic sermon series about what it looks like to be a Christian. Today he talked about being a disciple of Christ. The sermon was crafted around Luke 5 and Peter's later journey as a disciple of Christ. In the scripture above, Jesus understands that Peter has been fishing all night, without much luck. They know of each other. Peter has followed Jesus around a bit, and has seen Jesus perform miracles of healing and teaching inside the temple. But he hasn't fully signed on to be a disciple at this point. Jesus turns to Peter and invites him to  “Go out into the deep water,” he says, “and there let down your nets.” I can imagine Peter's lack of initial interest. He was probably tired and frustrated. But Peter becomes a model for discipleship. It happened as soon as Peter, responds by saying, “but, if you say so.” Then off he goes, out into the deep water, and there he finds reward like he has never imagined.

I want to be like Peter. I want to be bold like a lion in following Jesus. I want to shirk the fear of safety and fly to Texas to heed the call that I know Christ put in my heart. I may never become a priest, or turn out to be the rock that Peter became. But as JY3 said in his sermon...as strong as Peter was...on his own he couldn't accomplish a whole lot. At the end he denied Jesus three times and abandoned him. It was only after the resurrection and the gift of the Holy SPirit did Peter acquire the courage to stand up to the Pharisees. Tonight I pray for boldness and courage.

I want to trust Christ so much, that like Peter, I am willing to leave the safety of my comfort zone, and explore the deep dark waters to which Jesus directs me. I want to push myself to the limits of what I imagined was possible, and through the power of the Holy Spirit, stand up and be brave for Christ. God, grant me a heart for Jesus.

Another Prayer

Excerpt from Simple Spirituality by Christopher L. Heuertz

I asked God what giants in my life were blocking my view of what God had in mind for me. I began to name them:

Pride and arrogance

Individualism and independence

Intemperance and excess

Power and control

Triumphalism, defiance and resistance

I asked God to help me fight my giants. God gave me small stones of hope and promise, simple yet profound:

Humility to slay the giant of pride and arrogance.

Community to slay the giant of individualism and independence.

Simplicity to slay the giant of intemperance and excess.

Submission to slay the giant of power and control.

Brokenness to slay the giant of triumphalism, defiance and resistance.

This piece spoke to me. I know that I'm harping on the flying thing s lot lately, but as it looms around the corner, it rests heavily on my heart. I think I need to do a better job at trusting that God is committed to me and has a plan for my life. I need to do a better job slaying the giant of power and control. God controls everything. Trusting in Him will help me get over my struggle with being in the air. I've defeated a lot of issues through Christ's transformative grace...this is just the next hurdle.

Much love.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Rosehaven

A Prayer

As I approach on my plane trip to Texas for the Anglican 100, I reflect on this prayer and find comfort in it. Of course it looks as if there will be a snow storm moving in as I board the plane, which will go great with my nerves. But I have to say, prayer over the past month has kept me pretty peaceful about the journey. I'm looking forward to the three days.

Teach me, O Lord, not to hold on to life too tightly.
Teach me to hold it lightly; not carelessly, but lightly, easily. 
Teach me to take it as a gift, to enjoy and cherish while I have it, 
and to let it go gracefully and thankfully when the time comes. 
The gift is great, but the Giver is greater still. 
Thou, O God, art the Giver and in thee is the Life that never dies.

Aspirations

I spent a decade working on achieving what I am very near to achieving. At this time next year, I could very likely be a partner in a successful criminal defense law firm. I will have the financial security that I used to dream about as I walked to class at UNCG in the boiling heat, wondering what it would be like to be able to afford my own car. Wondering what it would be like to live in one of those beautiful brick homes that lined the street towards the college. I used to think...one day...

And now, here I am...and my priorities seem to be changing. I'm in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and none of that stuff seems to matter any more. It certainly doesn't seem like it should be a final destination.

I visited with a good friend from church tonight. This is a guy who has achieved a lot of worldly success at a young age. I plopped my son down on his couch to watch power rangers, and we migrated to the kitchen to chat about things. We watched a bit of Keller online, and discussed how to live an authentic Christian life. We talked about how worldly aims that used to have a lot of meaning, didn't inspire us anymore. We talked about money, and how to balance the worldly with the heavenly. We talked about Church planting. It was really great to be in fellowship with him. We both want to live a dramatic life for Christ...but how do you do that when you've got a young wife and child? How do you forsake your worldly success, when there are others to think about? Where do you draw the line? How much is enough?

I've been reading 'The New Testament in Modern English' translated by JB Phillips. It's similar to the  to 'The Message' by Peterson, but written decades earlier. It takes less liberties than the Message, but is just a really great and easy read. Anyway...I came across The Letter to Phillipi. Here's what I found:

"Every advantage I had gained, I considered loss for Christ's sake. Yes, and I look upon everything as loss compared with the overwhelming gain of knowing Christ Jesus my lord. For his sake I did in actual fact suffer the loss of everything, but I considered it useless rubbish compared with being able to win Christ. For now my place is in him, and I am not dependent on any of the self achieved righteousness of the law. God has given me that genuine righteousness which comes from faith in Christ. How changed are my ambitions! Now I long to know Christ and the power shown by his resurrection: no I long to share his suffering, even to die as he died, so that I may perhaps attain, as he did, the resurrection from the dead."

That is how I feel! That is what happens when one is smitten by the love of Christ. How changed are my ambitions indeed.

Spring is here?

I walked out of court today and the weather was almost warm for the first time in months. It made me harken back to the days as a child when I would play outside for hours and hours. There's something about childhood that makes it possible to be filled with Joy at the little things...so often. It seems harder to come by as an adult. I think kids live nearer to the intersection of Heaven and Earth because of their lack of worry. It's easier for them to be filled with God's joyfulness.

"Pan, who and what art thou?" he [Hook] cried huskily. -"I'm youth, I'm joy," Peter answered at a venture, "I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg."

Peter Pan is the image of youthful joy...but so often that Joy gets lost as we age? I wonder why that happens? It seems our ability to get lost in our imagination diminishes with time. Once that is lost, life becomes drudgery and toil...filled with worry.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NIV).

"Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. (Luke 18:15-17)

"Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:1-5)

Lord, I pray that over the next couple weeks, as I deal with my own personal challenge of boarding airplanes...not to mention all of the regular challenges that come with balancing work and family...Lord I pray that you continually harken me back to the days of my youth, when I felt your nearness everyday...and I reveled in the Joy of knowing you.

Much Love

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What does it mean to be a Christian?

Our Church has just started an eight week sermon series in which we'll be looking at what it means to be a Christian. It's a good question.  Think about it. Are you a Christian? For those people that were born into the faith, grew up in a Christian family, or have gone to church off and on for years...the easy answer is 'yes'. Sure I am...everyone in my family is!

But I'm asking seriously...are you REALLY a Christian? 

In order to properly assess that question, one needs to understand what it means to be a Christian. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian. Many people idly day dream through most of the service. Being born into the faith doesn't make you a Christian any more than being born in Dunkin' Donuts would automatically classify you as a piece of pastry. 

Being newly alive in the faith, I have often pondered this question. How do I know that I'm on the right path?  Peter explains in Acts, that if you repent from your evil ways and get baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins - then you will be given the 'gift of the Holy Spirit.' Sounds great right? Sweet! What...do I get like magic powers or something? When does it begin? How will I know? (As I found out later...for me, this 'gift of the Holy Spirit' first showed up as a form of 'conviction'.)

The Apostle Paul says that "those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old is gone. A new life has begun!" (2 Cor 5:17) I think this is spot on. I've seen it happen in my own life. But for me, it wasn't an overnight process. Sure, I think there are some people out there that feel a lightning bolt moment and can point to a specific conversion date. But not me. I wasn't overcome with any instantaneous magical feelings or powers. I prayed that Jesus would forgive my transgressions, take charge of my life, and I thanked him for loving me enough to carry the burden of my inequities. If there were any initial feelings...it was one of relief. Relief at least that I had made a decision about SOMETHING in my life. There was a God, and I was submitting to his divine authority. Whew! But no lightning bolts.

Slowly I noticed that I began to have a distaste for my old ways. As time went on, I began to look back on my prior lifestyle and choices, and felt remorse for living in such a destructive manner. I realize now that I was slowly becoming 'convicted' by the Holy Spirit. The best and most well-known Scripture using this word is found in Jesus' teaching, John 16:7. "But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment."

'Conviction' is a powerful word. Sometimes I think of it as being absolutely convinced of something. Or to convince others of something...as when a jury decides that a defendant is guilty. The Bible word for 'convinced' is "elegcho" which is translated a variety of ways: confute, admonish, convict, convince, tell a fault, rebuke, reprove.American theologian Albert Barnes says that the word translated means commonly to demonstrate by argument, to prove, to persuade anyone to do a thing by presenting reasons. It hence means also to convince of anything, and particularly to convince of crime. This is its meaning in John 16:7. He will convince or convict the world of sin. That is, he will so apply the truths of God to men's own mindsas to convince them by fair and sufficient arguments that they are sinners, and cause them to feel this. This is the nature of conviction always."

And that's what slowly started to happen to me. The Holy Spirit began to convict me of my poor behavior. Which in turn became an everyday reminder of how much I needed Christ's intervention in my life. And the more I turned to Christ, the better my life became. I began to crawl under Christs blanket of Justification as much as possible. I found joy there that I had never experienced before. I began in earnest to pray, and make prayer a daily part of my life. I began to have a relationshipwith Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. It was through my relationship with Jesus that I began to feel more and more assured that I truly was a Christian. But I'm not sure this relationship would've been started had I not experienced the humbling nature of the Holy Spirit's conviction in my mind.

So how do you know you have a relationship with Jesus? Is this when the lightning bolts start happening? Is this when the magic powers start to kick in? Yes actually, it is! I say that because, I really believe that my relationship with Christ has allowed me to feel a bit of magic. I really feel that I have witnessed a little bit of Heaven whilst I've been here on Earth. I've been given the wonderful blessing of enjoying my life for what it is, and sensing God's presence in places I never knew he existed before.  I wish I had the verbal acumen to explain it better...but I can only say that I've experienced a quiet joy as opposed to a fleeting happiness. I am quiet when I used to be loud. I am patient when I used to be impulsive. I am forgiving when once I was resentful. I can give it over to my creator. I am slowly learning to entrust him with my life. What freedom! 

But feelings aren't what I hang my hat on. In order to develop my faith I need to practice it. I need to be able to explain what faith is beyond just telling people that..."Man, I know I'm a Christian, because Jesus makes me feel really good!" 

Here are some some ways I know that what I'm feeling is real. Ways in which I can rest assured that I am a Christian, and I can have confidence in my Faith:

1) The Word Of God

     A. "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Rev 3:20) I asked Jesus to come in, and he slowly began to convict me through the holy spirit. I began a process of change.

     B. "I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt 28:20)Every time I need his help, he is there to guide me. I feel his constant presence in prayer.

     C. "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish!" (John 10:28) I have sensed this eternal life, I have tasted it, in the glimpses of pure joy that I never felt before I invited Jesus in.

2)  The Work Of Jesus (He interrupted the fabric of time. He is an actual historical reality.)

      A. God loves us and died to prove it. (John 3:16) This is actually documented outside the Bible. See the above link to examine the sources.

      B. He took our sins upon himself. (Prophesied in Isaiah 53:6, See also 2 Cor. 5:21) Jesus removes the barrier of sin that would normally block my living, breathing, interaction with God.

      C. Christ's historical works (Crucifixion/Resurrection) provides for me the Gift of God. (Rom. 6:23) Eternal life in Christ Jesus, that can be experienced here on Earth...before we physically die. 

    

3) The Witness of The Spirit 

      A. When someone becomes a Christian, God's Holy Spirit comes to live inside them. (Rom 8:9) As mentioned above, I have felt the conviction of this reality.

      B. The Spirit transforms us from within. (Gal. 5:22, 23) I don't behave the way I used to, I enjoy learning about God & being with other Christians, I have a new concern for others...I feel Joy.

      C. The Spirit, especially during prayer, brings a deep personal conviction that I am God's child. (Rom. 8:15,16) This is what brings me to such Joy. The slow acceptance that I am worthy of being loved by the creator of the Universe. That truth that he loves me even more than I love my son, always moves me to tears. I am truly worth something in his eyes. He delights in me. That is breathtaking!!

I feel so blessed to be on this journey. I know I'm a Christian because I have a living, breathing relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm sure of it. He wants me to be sure of it. (1 John 5:13) Can you imagine being married, and when a stranger asks if so-and-so is your spouse... responding... 'Well, I think so...". That would be ridiculous. God wants us to be sure of our relationship with him. More than just intellectually secure in the matter. But sure - on a heart level. Loving him like you would a spouse...with a heart type of knowledge. 

It is through this kind of intimate relationship that we become truly secure in saying "Yes! I know I am a Christian!"

Relaxing

God knew what he was doing when he put aside a day of rest. I do my best to separate my work from my free time with family and friends. Tonight we had an oyster and chili roast at a friends home. It was another gathering of our 20's and 30's group we call The Well. Really great stuff. I guess every state has it's own traditions. In Maryland, we would have had a crab picking barbecue type of thing. Down here, the inclination was to keep the NCAA basketball on despite the NFL playoffs, and to start roasting and shucking some oysters. I was all aout trying something new, and I slurped down an oyster. Then I heard someone talk about how eating raw oysters can give you Hep B. Then someone else said, yea...Iknow a girl wih Hep B, she's had three liver transplants. To top it off, someone next to me found a small dead crab inside his oyster. He popped it in his mouth and said...'Hmmm, a little crunchy...'

That was it for me. One was enough.

But on the Christian front, I never knew that people gathered and had fun this way. All church folk. Christ followers. Did this kind of thing exist in Baltimore? If it did I certainly wasn't aware of it. Then again, I definitely wasn't seeking either. There were people at the party that had only lived in town for 6 months, and had found our gathering online...through FB...etc.Because it was a priority for them to surround themselves with fellow God seekers. I hope I can raise my son to be that kind of person. I was ignorant to it when I was in my 20's.

I don't have anything profound to blog about tonight. Suffice to say that I am feeling very blessed in all phases of life. I've got a healthy loving family, and I'm developing some strong friendships in Raleigh. Things are good. I'm very thankful.

I think about going to seminary a lot. One of the main hesitations I have is putting my family through a period of flux, when we're so close to long term financial stability. We've all sacrificed and worked hard to arrive at this place, and I feel I owe it to them to give a bit of stability. But man, I've been in a love affair with my faith the past three years. I hunger to learn more.

We'll see how things go at the Anglican 1000 in a week. Like JY3 said the other week, maybe I'll find that hanging out with a bunch of priests isn't really my thing. But I think it's going to be awesome.

Much love.

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Location:Rosehaven

Replacing Bad Habits With Christ

I am on the leadership team for a group called The Well. It is a ministry through our church that focus's on people in their 20's and 30's. Last term we studied Tim Keller's Counterfeit Gods. It was a solid book, (though I think A Reason For God is still his standout), and below I've included an excerpt that I think encapsulates the book pretty well. I have found during my period of discernment that if Christ takes up my free time, then I really don't have opportunity to sin like I used to. On my own, if I have a choice to go back to old habits, will power isn't enough to prevent the slide in that direction. But a focus on Christ keeps me off the track towards a mistake. 

My wife and I avoid what we call 'step one' when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. If 'step two' is classified as some sort of cheating or infidelity, then a good way to avoid step two is never getting to step one. For example, exchanging email addresses or cell phone numbers with someone you know is interested in you could be step one. Going out on a business lunch that you know is more than just business could be step one. How do you avoid step one situations from even arising? Fill that time with your family. I don't go to happy hour after work with young hottie attorneys anymore. Why not? Because I'm replacing that behavour with something much more productive. Time with my son and wife. There is no possible way I'm even running into a step one opportunity when I'm with my family.

Same thing with Christianity. I am much less tempted by worldly seductions, when my free time is spent contemplating my reward in heaven. The opportunity for step one to open the door to a mistake is not going to happen when I'm in the midst of prayer. In Paul's letter to the Colossians he exhorted them to 'put to death' the evil desires of the heart, including 'greed, which is idolatry'. 

But How? Paul laid out the way:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

Keller writes:

Idolatry is not just a failure to obey God, it is a setting of the whole heart on something besides God. Thiscannot be remedied only by repenting that you have an idol, or using willpower to try to live differently. 'Setting the mind and heart on things above' where 'your life is hid with Christ in God' means appreciation, rejoicing, and resting in what Jesus has done for you. It entails joyful worship, a sense of God's reality in prayer. Jesus must become more beautiful to your imagination, more attractive to your heart, than your idol. If you uproot the idol with sheer force of will, but fail to 'plant' the love of Christ in its place, the idol will grow back.

Rejoicing and repentance must go together. Repentance without rejoicing will lead to despair. Rejoicing without repentance is shallow and will only provide passing inspiration instead of real change.

Indeed, it is when we rejoice over Jesus's sacrificial love for us most fully that, paradoxically, we are most truly convicted of our sin. When we repent out of fear of consequences, we are not really sorry for the sin, but for ourselves. Fear based repentance (behaving to avoid hellfire) is really self pity. In fear based repentance, we don't learn to hate the sin for itself, and it doesn't lose it's attractive pull. We learn only to refrain from it for our own sake. But when we rejoice over God's sacrificial, suffering love for us-seeing what it cost him to save us from sin-we learn to hate the sin for what it is. We see what the sin cost God.

In essence, what most assures us of God's unconditional love (Jesus's costly death) is what most convicts us of the evil of sin. Fear based repentance makes us hate ourselves. Because that kind of repentance never offers real, heart change. Joy-based repentance makes us hate the sin, and love ourselves- in Christ.

Much Love. Jess

Christian Brothers

Went out with 3 friends from Church tonight for dinner. It was pretty awesome. I spent way too much money, the Spanish owner was way too intrusive, but time with the fellas was well spent. It was authentic.

The four of us are in leadership positions of one sort or another at church and the topic was living an authentic life for Christ while dealing with everything else. There was some heated debate. It's great to have brothers who will call you out when you're being judgmental and cheer you on when you're doing it right.

I'm learning to look past peoples personalities and to focus more on their heart and motives. I used to be very judgmental. If I didn't like someone...that was it for them. If they rubbed me the wrong way, they were dead to me. Who needed to waste time with someone who didn't make a very good first impression? Pretty callous and superficial. Now I'm trying hard to get past peoples personality quirks, (because I'm perfect right?), and focus more on their heart. There are a lot of annoying, well intentioned people out there. Ha! But when you focus on their heart, their outward issues become less obvious.

Work was very challenging today. Christ showed up big time and in a big way. The more faith you have, the more miracles he performs. God loves when you go out on a limb with your faith. He rewards it. In the Bible, it seems that Jesus is most happy when people believe he can come through, (Matt 9:22, 9:29, 15:28, 21:21) and most distressed when they feel he can't. (John 11:40)

Well, this post is brief and light in theology, but I'm tired. Very blessed, but tired. Much love. Jess

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Location:Rosehaven

The Church Community

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with a good friend of mine. He is the lead rector of a start up Anglican Church in West LA. I've hung out in LA, and have some friends from Cali. He's got his hands full for sure. Not a whole lot of JC vibe going on over there on the left coast. The only place I can think of that may be more of a spiritual wasteland is the tech area of northern California. Unfortunately my brother lives out there, and it has completely crushed his faith in God. But that's a sad topic for another day.

So I'm excited about seeing my friend tomorrow. I'm finding that being surrounded by a community of believers is key. (Although I've always found the idea of a life of solitude in prayer quite romantic. I've had images of running away from it all and joining a monastery so that I could have my own cell with a wooden stool and a bible. But maybe it was the running away from it all that sounded so appealing.) My faith is often replenished and restored by meeting with my brothers in Christ. I often leave feeling as renewed as I do after a solid session of prayer.

In the sermon last Sunday, my friend I'm meeting with tomorrow spoke of the Body of Christ. He talked about how we're all called to do different things, but we are functioning as part of Christ's body. The work that we're doing is a continuance of the work Christ did while he was here. We are instructed to carry on in his name. There is nothing more important. We all have different strengths and callings. A good way to find out what your'e called to do in the Body of Christ is to follow your passion. But even more importantly, when we meet live and work together...I think there's a sense of Christ being present in more of a complete way. And thus when I'm with fellow Christians, I feel very alive.

I looked up some passages that refer to the Body. They are all Pauline. Paul was an amazing orator. He was his own lawyer in Acts, and it turns out he didn't have a fool for a client. He developed a lot of the theology behind the Body, and here's some of what he has to say about it.

1 CORINTHIANS 12:27
27 Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.

1 CORINTHIANS 1:10,13
10 Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.
13 Is Christ divided? . . . .

EPHESIANS 5:30
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.The Church, or Body of Christ, is composed of many members. Not every member has the same function or calling. God did not create or call each member to do the same thing.

ROMANS 12:4-8
4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function,
5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith;
7 or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching;
8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

1 CORINTHIANS 12:12,14,17-27 NKJ
12 For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.
14 For in fact the body is not one member but many.
17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling?
18 But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased.
19 And if they were all one member, where would the body be?
20 But now indeed there are many members, yet one body.
21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you."
22 No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary.
23 And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty,
24 but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it,
25 that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another.
26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
27 Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.

EPHESIANS 4:11-16
11 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers,
12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ,
13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;
14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness by which they lie in wait to deceive,
15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head -- Christ --
16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.







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Location:Rosehaven

Balancing work with faith

So I had my first full day at work since I've really committed to putting my faith first. It's a tough balance. The world is so...well worldly. I find myself falling into the criminal defense attorney role that I grew accustomed to before I came into the faith. Chain smoking, cursing, drinking, never a care win or lose....that was the lifestyle.

I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, I don't drink anymore, but the cursing and general hard core attitude creeps in now and again. Especially when I'm trading war stories with other attorneys. I told myself I'd stop cursing this year, and it's proved a bit challenging. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I tend to drop the F bomb or anything...but even the occasionally damn is something I'm trying to cut out. The less I immerse my self in base behavior, the more I hear gods voice and the less I'm tempted to engage in earthly desires.

Being a criminal defense attorney will wear you out unless you develop a pretty thick and calloused skin. I was trained by some of the most Godless and rebellious trial attorneys out there. And they were good. Juries loved them. But they knew nothing of the peace of Christ. I'm trying to learn to avoid burnout not by becoming hardened, but by becoming clothed with Christ. I want to exercise patience and a softer understanding with my clients questions, but be prepared to go to battle when needed. Christ was as gentle as a lamb, but he also knew how to turn over a table when need be.

Well, that's enough for now. I'm going to pray until bed time. I've got some reading to do too. Until tomorrow.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Rosehaven

Day One

Why this blog? I'm challenging myself to make 2011 a year of holiness. I'm daring myself to find out what it's like to live according to God's plan for my life. I'm committed to writing something in this blog for 365 straight days in order to better understand my Christian faith, and to what extent I'm called to be a leader in the faith.

What inspired all this?

For some reason...perhaps many reasons...after having 34 'fun' filled and aimless years, I begin wondering what it was all about. I began envisioning my death and having this sinking feeling that it was all going to be for naught. I felt motivated to understand whether there was any hope for this life. I didn't want to be at the end of my stay on Earth, wondering if I lived to the utmost.

In 2007 I began to embrace the hope that can only be found in the risen Christ. I found fairly quickly, once you come into contact with the living Christ, many of your former pastimes become trite in comparison. Which is actually quite good when you're hoping to quit boozing, carousing, womanizing, and all the other things that go along with an inflated ego and too much free time.

Along with this blog, I'll be praying for an hour a day. Some people work out, I'm going to be pumping the spiritual iron. 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. Not a big sacrifice when there's 24 hours per day. Devoting somewhere around 5% of my time to the God that created not only me but the universe...well, it doesn't seem like it should be too hard. I also want to devote time to this set prayer, so that I can praise God without doing it only when I need him for something. All too often I'm communing based on a spur of the moment desire for help. That's not good enough.

There will also be time devoted to my church of course. I am absolutely in love with the group of people that I worship with every Sunday. We worship and commune with God in the Anglican style and it has been a perfect blend of spirituality, evangelism, and liturgy. I've learned a lot through the blessings of some great, young, spiritual leaders. Part of the purpose of this year is to determine whether I am cut out to lead an Anglican Church. And more importantly, am I being called to do that?

Professionally, things are really starting to become promising. I have a lot of opportunities for worldly success and the time to seize those possibilities will be ironically...at the end of this year. In December of 2011, I will need to decide whether God is calling me to a life of service, or rather...is he encouraging me to continue on in my very worldly profession as a devout and orthodox Christian.

These journal entries will help me to evaluate the process.

Location:Rosehaven